Witness the epic battle of the cyclops!
Visit the endangered dragon preserve! Please, no slaying.
Solve the mystery of The Mystery Cottage, if you dare!
Buy some knick knacks from The Fates! They might come in handy later.
On a road trip across an enchanted America, Helen and Troy will discover all this and more. If the curse placed upon them by an ancient god doesn’t kill them or the pack of reluctant orc assassins don’t catch up to them, Helen and Troy might reach the end their journey in one piece, where they might just end up destroying the world. Or at least a state or two.
A minotaur girl, an all-American boy, a three-legged dog, and a classic car are on the road to adventure, where every exit leads to adventure. Whether they like it or not.
Imagine a mad man, who can’t stop laughing at his own jokes and poking fun at everything under the sun. Now let him write a modern day fantasy book, where all the creatures of legend are real and everyone knows it. I imagine that book is Helen and Troy’s Epic Road Quest. There is no better way to describe other than pure maniacal fun.
A. Lee Martinez’s soul must have shared a womb with Terry Pratchett because they are seriously cut from the same cloth. His nonsense makes perfect sense and I couldn’t keep from gobbling up every whimsical word of it.
Helen is a minotaur and works as a cashier at a Magic Burger joint. Troy is the perfect gorgeous hunk that everyone can’t help but like, even people that don’t want to like him…Helen case in point. One night when Helen is staying late to clean up, her elf boss tries to sacrifice her to his Lost God. In cosmic fuck-up fashion, said boss ends up being sacrificed himself when his Lost God eats him by mistake.
With the help of a secret service questing agency and many other people along the way – Helen and Troy bumble from one test to the next, gathering the loot along the way. They have a motorcycle band of orcs hot on their trail, sent by an opposing god to kill them. But Helen and Troy have a quest to fulfill, a world to save…or destroy? – identity issues to deal with and even some very confusing budding romance. Wait where did the romance come in? Well they are teenagers or did I not mention that?
As far as characters are concerned, Helen was most definitely my favorite character…next to Nigel the orc (because he was just fucking funny as hell). Helen is one tough cookie and is determined not to be a sidekick to Troy’s classic hero persona. I love how Troy is depicted, while I liked him I really think Martinez was poking fun at heroes everywhere. The icing on the cake here? The dialogue! It will put a grin on your face and have strangers staring at you as you guffaw with laughter.
Helen and Troy’s Epic Road Quest